Week 7 Recap! Gronk-tini Edition

Week 7! The regular fantasy season is half over!! Remember top 6 battle it out for the Shiva. The bottom 4, pray not to get the Glorious Staff of Anal Beads.




So I just discovered that Rob Gronkowski is running a football clinic for women 21 and over.

He provides access to beer, wine, and get this "Gronk-tinis"
What's in a Gronk-tini? Roofies? Sounds like the rapeiest drink ever.

I also like how the Gronk will "Give talks highlighting the finer points of the game of football and beyond."


So what's the beyond part? He'll give life advice? What would that sound like?

GRONK DIVERSIFY ASSETS. GRONK PUT 20% DOWN ON MORTGAGE

GRONK PAIR GRILLED MAHI MAHI WITH AGED CHIANTI BUT FIRST GRONK SIP GESPACHO TO CLEANSE PALLET FROM APPETIZER COURSE

GRONK REALIZE THAT PAIRING A RED WITH FISH IS UNORTHODOX, BUT FEELS THE SUBTLE FLAVORS OF THE FISH GO NICELY WITH THE FAIRLY MELLOW CHIANTI

GRONK SUGGEST WRITING COVER LETTER AND FOLLOWING UP WITH HAND WRITTEN THANK YOU NOTE WITHIN 3-5 BUSINESS DAYS.

GRONK SAY TO PAY DIVIDENDS THIS QUARTER TO KEEP INVESTORS HAPPY

GRONK FIND THAT LADDERING LONG TERM BONDS RATHER THAN 10 YEAR VARIABLE ANNUITY HAVE BETTER INCOME REPLACEMENT RATIO. GRONK SAY PUT SURPLUS CASH INTO S&P INDEX FUND OR ETF TO BEAT INFLATION. GRONK NOT FAN OF FED RATE POLICY.

Weekly awards, Ranking, and Scheduling below the break.

Shivas

Big Fudge (Five week win streak) - Saumil

Lil' Fudge (Three week win streak) - Dave


Weekend at Bernie's (BLOW OUT. 47.81 points, Wow) - Chris G

Sackos

Success of M. Night Shamylan's Last 5 Movies (5 loss streak) - Vaidu

Success of Kathryn Heigl's Last 4 Movies (4 loss streak) - Chris L
 

)•-•-•-•-•-•  (Least amount of points for the week. Yep those are anal beads) - Vaidu


Week 7 Ranking!

1. Saumil 
2. Dave
3. Amy
4. Chris G
5. Malay
6. Aru
7. Brian
8. Ekta
9. Chris L
10. Vaidu

Week 8 Matchups! RIVALRY WEEK! 
Its that time of year again! Make your preparations.

When making your blood sacrifice, make sure to face the opposing team's QB's goal line and  make your testament to the goddess. Then when the blood moon rises, and mercury is in retrograde she may grant your wish.

1. Saumi v Dave
2. Amy v Chris G
3. Malay v Aru
4. Brian v Ekta
5. Chris L v Vaidu